ZODIAC -- 1970 -- The Year of the Dog -- INTRO
by Robotic Chickens
Summary: An original MWPP fiction with a taste of Chinse Zodiac, random objects of affection, and utter high school insane humor. PLEASE R/R!! I'm begging you!


Zodiac  
An original MWPP series by. . .  
 the keepER of the ROBOTIC CHICKENS!  
  
1970: The Year of the Dog  
1971: The Year of the Wild Boar  
1972: The Year of the Rat  
1973: The Year of the Ox  
1974: The Year of the Tiger  
1975: The Year of the Rabbit  
1976: The Year of the Dragon  
  
1977: The Year of the Snake  


  
  
Looking back to that first year at Hogwarts, I wish I hadn't wished it by so fast.  It was ar eal heaven compared to what I've been through since.  
  
Nineteen-seventy, in the Chinese Zodiac, it was the year of the dog.  Just a few short years later, the true meaning would come startlingly clear to me.  
  
But I was just a kid, a child of the seventies… so naïve, growing up looking through rose-colored glasses…  
  


~*~  
  


Sheila Black of 17 Pumblechook Road was a very normal looking girl.  She attended a small college near that part of England, lived with her parents and brother in a very pretty, two-story wooden house, and was dating a rather handsome and aspiring blonde-haired boy from her old school.  
  
But, the fact was, she wasn't a very normal girl.  She had graduated from the infamous Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and had gained several N.E.W.T.s and O.W.L.s before her leaving for muggle college. Sheila had been a prefect, and a model student.  And, she was dating a Manticore breeder who was currently in America to save an endangered breed.  
  
She had an eleven-year-old brother named Sirius that would be starting at Hogwarts at the end of summer.  
  
The day our story begins, Sirius was playing with the family cat in the backyard.  At the time, he had been riding around on it, as it was not an ordinary cat and was at least the size of a large pony.  Sirius screeched as it pounced on a small dog wandering through the back lot.  
  
Sheila was checking the morning owls, three from Adrienne, her boyfriend in America; one from the Magical Menagerie alerting them that Baby, the family cat, was due a check up; and a heavy parchment letter with the Hogwarts seal.  
  
Sheila ducked out a window and called to Sirius, "Hey, Siri!  You've got some mail!"  
  
Sirius toppled off of Baby and came skipping in the backdoor.  "Who from?"  
  
"Hogwarts."  
  
"I got my letter!" Sirius screamed at the top of his lungs, causing Sheila's a bowl of kiwi fruits to fall off the table.  
  
Mr. and Mrs. Black hurried down the stairs, with teary eyes, and enveloped Sirius in a large bear hug.  Sheila gave him a proud smile and he tore the letter open.  
  
"Dear Mr. Black," Sirius read. "That's me!"  
  
"You are invited to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  We await a return owl as soon as plausible.  We have enclosed a list of needed items for the school year. Please be on the Hogwarts Express on September the first, eleven am, Platform 9 and ¾, King's Cross Station. We have enclosed your ticket.  
  
First year students are reminded they may not bring brooms.  And all students are invited to bring a cat OR a toad OR an owl OR a goldfish. Thank you, and we await your owl.  
  
Sincerely,  
Albus Dumbledore, Supreme Mugwump, International Confederation of Wizards, Order of the Phoenix, Order of Merlin, Second Class."  
  
"What's a mugwump?" Sirius asked, looking up at his sister.  
  
"I don't know." She said, raising eyebrow with a smile."Err… what do you need this year?"  
  
Sirius flipped through the papers until he found the list."Standard Book of Spells, Grade One; One-Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi and Where to Find Them; Transfiguration Explained; Luckyand Unlucky Charms; Basic Potions; and Magic Plants and Herbs."  
  
"Sounds pretty similar… although I don't have the Charms book, or the Standard Book of Spells… we used the Encyclopedia of Magic, Years 1 through 7."  
  
"You'll take him by Diagon Alley, then?" Mr. Black said to Mrs. Black and Sheila, and flipped to the next page, "Says he needs a wand, robes, a cloak, gloves, potions ingredients… the whole shebang."  
  
"What I don't have… and I'll have to give old Homer Ollivander a ring, haven't seen the old chap in ages.  And Sirius can take Baby, lord knows we need that beast out of our hair." Mrs. Black replied, tapping her temple as she thought.  
  
"Mo-om!" Sirius scowled, "Baby won't fit on the train!  It's like taking a horse to school!"  
  
"Ask Sheila to shrink him for you!"  
  
"You can't shrink my cat!"  
  
"I will not shrink the cat!"  
  
"Alright…get him a toad or something!"  
  
"Toads suck." Sirius frowned, putting on a good pout.  
  
"They went out in the eighteen-hundreds, mom!"  
  
"Alright… buy him a goldfish!"  
  
Sirius snorted indignantly and Sheila slapped a hand to her forehead. "What good is a goldfish?"  
  
"Does he want a pet or not!"  
  
"Alright… a goldfish it is!"  
  
~*~  
  
The next day, Sirius, Sheila, and Mrs. Black were standing at the fireplace, Mrs. Black holding a small bag of white powder.  
  
She offered the bag to Sirius.  
  
"But, mom!  You always told me not to do drugs!"  
  
"You don't EAT it, you throw it in the fire!"  
  
"Oh…is this floo powder?" Sirius asked, having never been allowed to travel by magic.  They always used the normal car to take him places. Especially his muggle elementary school.  
  
"Yes, honey, has Sheila told you what to do?"  
  
"Yes, mum."  
  
Sirius threw it in the fire, pulled his hat down over his ears and stepped up, squeaking 'Diagon Alley!' in his loudest voice.  
  
"I'll be glad when that boy grows up," his mother said, coming out of the fireplace behind him. Sheila hopped out several moments later.  
  
"Hum?" Sheila asked, giving Sirius a funny look.  
  
"Where are we?" Sirius asked, looking around.  
  
"This is Flourish and Blotts, dear, the bookstore."  
  
Twenty minutes later, Sheila, Sirius, and Mrs. Black left Flourish and Blotts with the new textbooks. They visited Madam Malkin's for long black robes, a cape, hat, and gloves, the Apothecary for Potions ingredients, and were on their way to Mr. Ollivanders.  
  
"Margurite!" Came a scratchy voice from inside theshop.  Mr. Ollivander scurried over and gave Mrs. Black a quick handshake.  
  
"Your mother is a good friend of mine." Mr. Ollivander said, smiling as much as a crotchety old man can. "I see your son needs his first wand!"  
  
"Yes." Mrs. Black said, nodding and shoving Sirius forward.  
  
"Let's try… dragon heartstrings, 15 inches, palm."  
  
Sirius took the wand and waved it.  Nothing happened.  
  
"14 inches, ebony, phoenix feather."  
  
Nothing.  
  
"12 inches, maple, dragon heartstrings."  
  
Nothing.  
  
"14 inches, oak, unicorn hair!"  
  
Nothing.  
  
After seventy-two more wands, both Mr. Ollivander and Sirius had collapsed into chairs.  
  
Mr. Ollivander's eyes were closed as he said, "Tricky customer… ehh? Try this, thirteen inches, spruce, unicorn hair!"  
  
Sirius barely lifted it an inch when it sparkled and a small explosion erupted from the tip.  Miniature fireworks exploded around the room.  
  
"I say… seems we've found you a wand!" Mr. Ollivander said before grasping a bookcase and pulling himself up heavily.  
  
"Yes, sir!" Sirius said, forcing his eyes open as his mother paid and they left the store.  
  
"Now for the goldfish!"  
  
"Can't I have a robotic chicken instead?"  
  
Both Sheila and Mrs. Black stared.  
  
"A robotic chicken, honey?"  
  
"Sorry, I don't know what came over me."  
  
"Humph." Sheila said, no doubt thinking about what might have crossed Sirius' mind to think of robotic chickens as his school pet.  
  
~*~  
  
The Magical Menagerie had happened to have just gotten a new shipment of magical goldfish that afternoon.  Sirius hurried over to the tank and began inspecting the goldfish.  
  
"I like the blue one."  
  
Madam Zoë Ologi whipped up her magic fishing net, several magic plastic bags, and a magic twist tie.  
  
"The blue one with the silver scales, son?"  
  
"Yes, please!"  
  
She dipped her magical fishing net carefully into the tank.  Sirius stood watching, confident he wouldn't get wet.  All of a sudden, Madam Ologi splashed into the tank, spraying everyone with water.  
  
After several wet and strange moments, Madam Ologi emerged holding a magical plastic bag tied with a magic twist tie containing one blue and silver magic goldfish; and brandishing her magic fishing net.  
  
She handed Sirius his magic goldfish and announced brightly. "That will be two galleons and you can pick out the magical goldfish bowl you'd like over there." She pointed her magic fishing net at a display of magical goldfish bowls.  
  
Sirius picked a purple magical goldfish bowl and they paid for the magic goldfish, magical goldfish bowl, and the magical plastic bag tied with the magic twist tie, and some magic fish food.  
  
On the way out, Madam Ologi handed him a coupon.  
  
"Coming soon… Robotic Chickens!  Half price!"  
  
"Oy, Sheila! Robotic chickens!"  
  
~*~  
  
The morning of September the first dawned bright and early.  Around seven-thirty, the entire Black family woke up to eat a homemade breakfast with their son for the last time that year.  
  
Sirius was feeling very nervous, but very happy as he ate his grits.  The biscuits were served and each member began munching a light, fluffy buttermilk-biscuit.  
  
"I guess we have something for you, Sirius." Mr. Black announced, holding up a small satchel. "You'll need a bit of money over theyear."  
  
He handed Sirius the satchel and smiled proudly.  
  
"Make us proud, boy."  
  
"Yes, sir!" Sirius said, smiling and counting the twenty-five galleons he had been given. "Thank you, dad, mum, Sheila!"  
  
Sheila smiled, "And one more thing, Siri… Baby and I bought you this!" She handed him a sloppily wrapped package (as neither she nor Baby were good wrappers).  Sirius tore into the wrappings to find none other than a Robotic Chicken.  
  
"Yeah!" Sirius grinned, hugging Sheila and the Robotic Chicken.  
  
Baby purred from the corner of the room she was occupying.  
  
~*~  
  
Sheila and Sirius walked down the isles of King's Cross Station, leading the robotic chicken on a leash.  The station was unusually busy that day.  A boy walked down the isle carrying a large, hooting Barred Owl, and Sirius was sure he saw a man with a wand.  
  
Sirius' jubilant smile faded when his eyes quickly moved from Platform 9 to Platform 10.  
  
"You mean there aren't any in between?"  He looked around, looking around the corner for Platform 9 and ¾.  
  
"Just walk through the wall right over here…" Sheila pointed to a section of wall near a large flowering shrub.  
  
"Walk THROUGH the wall?"  
  
Tap. Tap.  
  
Sheila turned around to face a boy about Sirius' age, with untidy black hair in need of a trim, and bright brown eyes.  
  
Sheila grinned, "First year at Hogwarts?"  
  
"Yes, ma'am."  
  
"Just go with Sirius, here, and walk through that wall…" She gestured once again to the section of wall between Platforms 9 and 10.  
  
"Alright." He said firmly, throwing his weight on his cart to make it move, and following Sirius up to the wall.  
  
"Ready?"  
  
"On three."  
  
"One."  
  
"Two."  
  
"Three!" They said together, barreling towards thewall.  In a split second the two of them disappeared.  Sheila clapped her hands and strode confidently into the wall.  
  
Sirius and the boy were standing in awe right inside the barrier.  Sheila's memories returned to her first year, when she had first stepped onto Platform 9 and ¾.  
  
Sirius gazed around, first at the smoke billowing from a large scarlet steam engine.  Then he noticed the people, all dressed in robes, or in the process of donning them.  Last, before Sheila shoved him towards the train, he saw a very pretty woman with long blonde hair motioning students onto the train.  
  
Sirius glanced over his shoulder for the boy he had gone through the barrier with, but he was already being loaded onto the train.  Sirius heaved his luggage up to the door, where it was lifted and taken out of sight.  
  
Sheila waved jubilantly to Sirius and rushed over, giving him a snuggly hug and a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"We'll miss you, boy."  
  
"I'll miss you to, Sheils."  
  
They both grinned and Sirius hopped aboard the train, ready for the year ahead of him.  
  
~*~  
  
Aboard the train, he began looking in compartments for someplace to sit.  The first one he checked contained a group of giggly older girls, all comparing different magical make up.  
  
The second one contained some boys playing poker who just scowled until he closed the door. Another was host to a very much older pair, who were currently making out.  
  
He finally found one with a boy who had already fallen asleep, with messy brown hair, and extremely long sideburns, as you might see in anime.  He had a backpack, with the initials "RJL" stitched on it.  
  
Sirius shrugged and took a step forward, but suddenly found his eyes covered.  
  
"Guess who?"  
  
"Uhh…?" Sirius stammered, unable to imagine who might be playing with him.  
  
"Me!" Said a malevolently feminine voice.  
  
"Sheils?"  
  
Sheila turned him around, grinning. "Forgot your whitie tighties!"  She grinned maliciously, holding up his underwear.  
  
The boy in the compartment yawned and blinked, staring atSirius, who was wearing a mortified look on his face, and Sheila holding up a bag of white boy's underwear.  
  
"'Ullo." He grinned, chuckling.  
  
Sirius blushed scarlet. He snatched the undergarments from Sheila's grasp.  She grinned and walked off down the corridor.  
  
"Forgetful, are you?" The boy said, grinning at Sirius.  
  
"She did that on purpose." Sirius snarled. "Mom had her pack for me since she graduated Hogwarts year before last."  
  
"Yah… err… by the way… I'm RJ Lupin… it's really Remus, but I'm trying to get people to call me RJ."  
  
"Yah, I like RJ, too. I'm Sirius Black… but not SB or anything.  Although my sister calls me dog-breath."  
  
"I'm sure it's not that bad."  
  
"It's not."  
  
"What's not?"  
  
Sirius and Remus' attention was diverted to two boys standing in the doorway.  
  
"My brea--- I mean nothing, none of your business." Sirius said, catching himself quickly.  
  
The shorter one nodded, "I'm Geoff, short for Geoffrey, err… Duvall." Sirius looked down to the other boy who was none other than the boy from the barrier.  
  
Geoff is pronounced Gee-off, not like Jeff, but Geoffrey is pronounced Jeff-oh-ree  
  
"James Potter…"  
  
"Sirius Black."  
  
"RJ Lupin." Sirius gave him a grin.  
  
"So, going to sit here with us?"  
  
"Sure, no place else except for that kid with the toad and that bossy little duck…" Geoff grinned, obviously not liking toads much,either.  
  
"Duck?"  
  
"Girl… very annoying little girl." James supplied.  
  
"I think her name's Ava."  
  
"And she has that red-headed, skate-boarding, dope-smoking muldoon hanging around her." Geoff gave them a wry smile.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Nevermind him, he's from America.  He's faking the British accent and he's a military brat."  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are so!" James stuck his tongue out at Geoff who in turn gave him the finger.  
  
"Lousy Americans…"  
  
RJ and Sirius grinned and as Geoff and James sat down, the train began moving.  They settled back in their seats.  
  
"Anyone for a rousing game of paper-rock-scissors?" Geoff said suddenly, as the boredom was beginning to rear it's ugly face.  
  
"Hum?" James said, as he listened to RJ's light snoring.  
  
"A game?  Of anything?  Cards? Chess? Twenty-questions?"  
  
"Twenty questions sounds good." Sirius said, as he twiddled his thumbs.  
  
"Okay… I'll ask one. I'm thinking of a person."  
  
"Man?" James asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Alive?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Wizard?—Yes."  
  
"At Hogwarts?—Yes."  
  
"Albus Dumbledore."  
  
"Right." Geoff said, suddenly falling asleep.  
  
They had all dozed off, except for Sirius, who was scavenging his pack for some candy cigarettes.  
  
"GOOD MORNING SUNSHINES!" Came a very bright, awake, and happy, female voice.  
  
"Go away, rain cloud." Geoff muttered and rolled over.  
  
"It's time to wake up and say hello to Ava and Lily."  
  
"Go to HELL."  
  
"Oops---missing a letter there, Geoff."  
  
"I am NOT."  
  
Ave grabbed Geoff by the chin and leaned her head down to his face. "WAKE UP!" She screeched, causing Geoff to jump and land rather awkwardly in James' lap.  
  
"Get off you screwball." James spat, shoving Geoff off his lap.  
  
Lily stood leaning on the doorframe, bright red t-shirt attracting James' attention, dark, baggy blue jeans complimenting her small waist.  
  
_Ack, I'm looking at a girl!_ James growled, slapping himself in the face.  
  
Sirius stood up, sucking on a candy cigarette and declared, "Anyone got a light?"  
  
"Hum?" Ava said, turning sharply to face Sirius. "That's my kind of talk."  
  
RJ had woken up. "You know… Geoff and Ava look a good bit alike."  
  
Geoff shot daggers at Remus and scowled.  
  
"I wonder why, brother-dear." Ava said, patting Geoff's shoulder.  
  
"Ooh…that would explain it." James grinned, looking at Geoff's stricken face.  
  
"Poor you, a sister like that…" RJ said, grinning.  
  
The train's horn tooted and the train began to bend around a turn, coming across an awesome view of… cows.  Cows, cows, and more cows.  
  
"Don't these people ever get sick of cows?"  
  
"Cows are good… unless you're Sirius and you are related to a mad cow."  
  
"You lousy cow…"  
  
"I want a hamburger."  
  
"Geoff!  Get your mind off of food and cows."  
  
"Impossible, cow-dear."  
  
"I'm not a cow!"  
  
They each soon began to drift to sleep, each picturing large black and white cows jumping over a fence.  
  
"Moo…" Sirius snored, as the last one to fall asleep.  
  
~*~  
  
"Do you think they'll wake up?" A short, bossy-looking Ravenclaw prefect said to her companion, a tall, red-haired Gryffindor prefect.  
  
CRASH!  
  
Thunder rolled and vibrated down the halls of the Hogwarts Express.  The occupants of the compartment woke up, with Ava stretched across Geoff and James' lap, and Lily sitting uncomfortably between Sirius and RJ.  
  
Geoff shoved Ava into the floor.  Lily stood up and looked at her watch.  The two prefects grinned.  
  
"Um…we're here and you all have to cross the lake."  
  
"A lake?"  
  
"Yeah!! Cruise!" Sirius barked, hopping up and trodding on Ava's hand.  
  
"OUCH!" Ava screamed, hitting Sirius in the back of the knee and causing him to fall and smack his head on the door.  
  
~*~  
  
Sirius came to rather abruptly.  Actually, he had been thrown off the dock from Geoff's shoulders into the lake.  
  
Spitting out lake water, Sirius treaded water.  
  
"What was that for? Somebody get me out!"  
  
And in the time that it took for a flash of lightning and a clap of thunder to occur, the tentacles of a giant something had shoved him back on the dock, standing dripping next to Lily.  
  
"Hello, doll."  
  
"Who did it!?"  
  
"Geoff."  
  
"James."  
  
"Remus."  
  
"AVA!"  
  
"LILY!"  
  
"GEOFF!"  
  
"JAMES!"  
  
"RJ!"  
  
"Actually, it was I that did you harm."  
  
A small, scowling, brown-haired boy stepped forward.  
  
His small, rat-like eyes flashed from a distant strike of lightning.  
  
"Who be you?" Sirius scowled, grabbing the boy by his collar and lifting him off the ground.  
  
"Peter…Pettigrew."  
  
"Okay, Peter Pettigrew, why?"  
  
"As to the fact you wouldn't want to miss your first and only trip across the lake of Hogwarts."  
  
"How old are you, freak?"  
  
"12, second year."  
  
"That's great."  
  
Sirius wound up and hit Pettigrew in the nose so hard that he fell in the lake.  
  
Ava and Geoff whooped and James and RJ grinned.  
  
The giant squid had soon returned the scowling second year boy and depositing him next to Geoff. Geoff pushed him back in, and by the time Geoff, Ava, RJ, and the toad-boy; and Sirius, James, RJ, and Lily had taken their places in two boats, he had been pushed in and shoved back out at least eight times.  
  
Hagrid called the second year boy off to the magic coaches, and told them to shove off across the lake.  
  
The toad-boy introduced himself as Frank Longbottom, and proved to be a bit more interesting then "that toad-boy" would hint.  
  
He was an avid Quidditch fan from an all wizard family.  He could tell you the make, maker, and details of any broom, or the date of any famous Quidditch match.  
  
They had to explain to Lily and Sirius what Quidditch was, but with Frank's help, they caught on quickly.  
  
When the boats came ashore in the underground tunnel, Hagrid, the groundskeeper, knocked on a door and escorted them inside.  
  
The Great Hall was one of the most amazing things Sirius had ever seen.  He, and most of the other first years, stood gawking in awe at the miraculous enchanted ceiling and the vast expanse of the room.  
  
It was pretty amazing that first time.  Sirius doubted that he'd ever been that awestruck.  
  
A tall, somewhat young professor came striding into the room, flanked by the blonde woman from the train station.  
  
"Good evening, Hagrid."  
  
"Evenin' Minerva. First years for sorting."  
  
"Yes, another year."  
  
The one identified as Professor McGonagall motioned to a prefect who began to herd the first years into a group to be sorted.  
  
"What's sorting?" Lily whispered frantically to James, who shrugged.  
  
RJ, Geoff, Frank, Ava, and Peter Pettigrew also drew blanks when asked the question, and tried to look over the heads of a somewhat tall group of kids, huddled together.  
  
"Wish I'd hit puberty right about now." Geoff said, scowling, as a particularly fat boy moved in front of him, blocking off all vision.  
  
"Ahh… loose weight you old cow." Geoff moaned, poking the boy in the back.  
  
"Ahh!  Run Geoff!  He's a girl!" Sirius whispered, wide-eyed as the fat girl turned around.  
  
The sorting hat was placed in front of them and began singing its yearly song.  
  
"Abernathy, Françoise." McGonagall called loudly, as the sorting hat ended its song.  The large girl that had almost attacked Geoff slouched out in front of the crowd.  
  
"HUFFLEPUFF."  
  
"Whassa hufflemuff?" Geoff said, wrinkling his bushy eyebrows.  
  
"Hufflepuff, it's a house." Frank leaned over and whispered… "Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor…"  
  
"And?" Sirius said, looking nervous.  
  
"Black, Sirius!"  
  
Sirius gave them a stricken look.  
  
"Try for Gryffindor, Sirius, I'm sure I will!" Frank called, waving his Quidditch magazine.  
  
Almost thirty seconds later, Sirius joined the Gryffindor table.  
  
After a few more people…  
  
"Duvall, Avanna!"  
  
"Huh?  I wanna devil?" Sirius said, hearing Ava's name.  
  
"Hey!" Ava scowled, kicking Sirius in the shin and walking to the stool.  
  
"Gryffindor!"  
  
"Duvall, Geoffrey."  
  
"Gryffindor!"  
  
"Score! Duvalls to Gryffindor!" Frank called, slapping high fives with Sirius, James, and RJ.  
  
A few more people and Lily Evans was sent to Gryffindor.  After another bought of Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, Slytherins, and two twin girls to Gryffindor, RJ and Frank were sorted to Gryffindor.  
  
Sirius sat staring at the stool as most of the rest of the class was sorted.  
  
"Potter, James."  A few murmurs went up among the crowd… wasn't he?  Yes, he was…  
  
"What?"  
  
"James Potter, senior… was one of the best damn seekers the world has ever seen." Frank said. "I can't believe I didn't realize it!"  
  
"No kidding?" Sirius said, forgetting if the seeker was the one who went after the Muffle or the Bitch.  Ahh!  I mean Snitch!  
  
"GRYFFINDOR!" The hat yelled, and Sirius, RJ, and Frank clapped wildly, as did many of the Quidditch fans of the Great Hall.  
  
"Snape, Severus."  
  
"What a name…" Sirius said, gazing at a very large-nosed, slick-haired, and tan-skinned boy who was slinking to the stool.  
  
"Yah… Severe Snake." They looked at each other and laughed as the hat pronounced 'Severe Snake' into Slytherin.  
  
"What a freak."  
  
And the sorting was over. Professor Flitwick took the hat away and it was time for the opening feast.  
  
~*~  
  
::sighs:: Seventeen pages.  That's as much as I could do… I really want some opinions on this before I devote more of my precious free time on it.  So your reviews ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED…  Very mucho amigo.  Multum gratium!  
  
Amo Cannoni.  
  
Agri Equorum est boni.  
  
As always, carpe cibbum! (seize the food)  
  
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!  
  
((I had to add spaces to almost every tenth word in this story by hand!!))  



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